What Is Pushing You & What Is Pulling You?

When everything you thought you wanted
And all the plans that you made
Don’t seem to make sense anymore
Don’t really resonate in your soul anymore
Don’t fundamentally get you excited anymore

It’s good to ask yourself….

What is pushing me, and what is pulling me?

Sometimes you lose your inspiration for a while for the thing you love doing
I thought that I was just temporarily not feeling it
Or suffering from some hardcore “resistance” as Steven Pressfield calls it

Not wanting to do the real work of becoming a better composer/producer

But it seems that that’s not really been the real issue
It seems to have been a deeper-seated misalignment

So I’ve been asking myself…

Musically, what is pushing me and what is pulling me?

Taking on too much of the arrangement and production process feels like pushing
Or at least, not quite like my zone of genius
Focusing predominantly on house music feels like pushing
Or at least, not quite what fulfils my soul anymore
Making music solely behind my laptop feels like pushing
Or at least, not really allowing me to connect with the essence of why making music makes me happy

So what has been pulling?

I’ve been pulled to focus on just chords on lyrics and melodies
I’ve been pulled to write songs away from the computer
With just a guitar

I’ve been pulled to play guitar in general
To feel the sound of the strings vibrating
To hold it closely to me as the tones fill the room
As the chords and the color of my voice blend into one

I’ve been pulled to make songs
Just simple ones
With just a guitar and my voice

I’ve been pulled to make songs
That can stand on their own
Just like that

And that perhaps don’t need a lot more
And that perhaps, when they’re done, can be remixed into house tracks by other people
But not me

In any case, I’m embracing the not knowing at this point
And just allowing myself to play
And go with what’s pulling me

Sometimes that’s the best thing you can do.
Or maybe always!

So, what is pulling YOU?

PS: Throwback Thursday pic on a Sunday, is that illegal? Well this is pretty much me right now except for being 7 yrs older and not having bangs. Close enough 😉

I’m gonna take some time to explore my new musical direction. Want to know when I have new music to share? Then sign up for my mailing list and I’ll keep you in the loop!

Continue reading

Not All Things Are Fun About The Things That Are Fun

Making music is fun.

Coming up with melodies is super fun.
Playing around with samples is heaps of fun.
Singing on stage is jolly good fun.
Jamming away with new plugins is fun-tastic.

Lots of things about music are fun!

But vocal editing? Not so fun 🤐

Very much unfun in fact.
Funless.
Lacking in fun.
The ultimate anti-fun.

During vocal editing, massive amounts of NON-fun are had.

But…

Then you just have to accept that:

NOT ALL THINGS ARE FUN ABOUT THE THINGS THAT ARE FUN.

And that’s OK.

You keep going anyway.

The end result WILL be and that’s what matters.

PS: What IS fun is that my friends Paul Hooper and Douglas Young released their Contrast Sessions radio show last week. A MUST check if you’re into deep / progressive / melodic house! With voice-overs from yours truly: https://soundcloud.com/contrastsessions

Continue reading

The Messy Grey Areas Of Life And Art

What does your voice of resistance sound like?

Ya know, that nagging little voice in your head that tries to convince you NOT to work on your music, your book, your epic business idea or anything else that you secretly most want?

Mine sounded something like this in the past weeks:

“Ugh, I don’t like music anymore. I just really don’t like it anymore. I don’t just dislike my own music. In fact, I don’t like house music in general anymore. So repetitive. Ugh. It just doesn’t inspire me anymore. That’s right, I don’t like any of the songs in my 367-tracks-house-playlist anymore. You know what? Actually, I just don’t like music in general anymore. I just don’t like music, period. That’s probably it. ”

Hmhm that’s right, my voice of resistance convinced me that: “I just don’t like music in general anymore”.

How is that even a thing?

Obviously, it isn’t.

But allowing myself to believe that served a convenient purpose.

Because if “I just don’t like music in general anymore” I don’t have to go back to music making!

And if I don’t have to go back to music making I don’t have to be confronted with the messy grey areas of life and art.

The messy “grey” areas meaning things like:
– my producing skills that are getting better but are not yet great
– my songs that have potential but aren’t arranged as well as they could be
– my voice that has a huge range but that I’m not even remotely using to my full potential because I don’t practice it enough

Oh, all the imperfection! It’s horrendous.

Sometimes the grey areas can be so intensely frustrating that you’d rather not deal with them at all.

Sometimes the grey areas can be so painful that you’d rather tell yourself to walk away from the whole thing and do something “simpler” with your life.

Sometimes, as much as you can see improvement in the long term, the grey areas are still so disappointing that you’d rather just give into resistance for a while.

Sigh.

But if that happens and you realize it, don’t guilt-trip all over yourself for the lost time.

‘Cause some people spend their whole lives this way, running from whatever they secretly most wish to create.

But you don’t.

You have caught yourself yet again.

You bought into it for maybe a few hours, a day, or a couple of weeks… and now?

Now you can get back to work.

Who can relate?

PS: And yes, that means new music is coming soon 🙂

Continue reading

And Then When You Breathe Fully…

And then when you breathe fully…

For the first time in a long time
You start to experience
What they talk about in all the books

When you breathe fully
And you realize
Your perceived “problem situation”

Is not a “problem”
It is merely a “situation”

When you breathe fully
And finally, you feel
A healthy distance between you and the other people
While simultaneously
Feeling more connected than ever

When you breathe fully and deeply
And you feel like all of a sudden
You’re a totally different person

When actually, you are now the most you
You are now more you than you’ve ever been

Calm
And clear
And confident
Right here in this moment

When you breathe fully
And really and deeply
You find that you are home, already home
In the center of your own existence
And with all that just is

Without any need to fix
Anything at all

❤️

PS: I did “mindful yoga” this week and it was so good! Conscious, full breathing versus shallow, restricted breathing…. hot damn, it makes all the difference. Who can relate?

Continue reading

No Need To Fix What Is Beautifully Broken

“It’s safe to feel this way
No need to run away
No need to fix what is beautifully broken
You’re perfectly healing
In perfect time”

A lyric snippet of a new song I’m working on.

Recently I’ve been experiencing a lot of restlessness in my life and I’ve noticed that instead of actually using this feeling as fodder for songs, and thereby using music as a healer (I know, groundbreaking concept!) — I tend to want to run all over the place to fix said restlessness.

Oh, the irony!

Self-help books, inspiring TED talks, embarrassing apps that I shall not mention, creating more lists of goals to achieve and otherwise trying to distract or “recreate” myself so that I can bypass the things I actually feel and need to heal.

I wrote a blog a while ago about wanting music to be my best friend again.

Indeed… I want it to be my friend, my meditation and my prayer.

Continue reading
1 2 3 8