No Need To Fix What Is Beautifully Broken

“It’s safe to feel this way
No need to run away
No need to fix what is beautifully broken
You’re perfectly healing
In perfect time”

A lyric snippet of a new song I’m working on.

Recently I’ve been experiencing a lot of restlessness in my life and I’ve noticed that instead of actually using this feeling as fodder for songs, and thereby using music as a healer (I know, groundbreaking concept!) — I tend to want to run all over the place to fix said restlessness.

Oh, the irony!

Self-help books, inspiring TED talks, embarrassing apps that I shall not mention, creating more lists of goals to achieve and otherwise trying to distract or “recreate” myself so that I can bypass the things I actually feel and need to heal.

I wrote a blog a while ago about wanting music to be my best friend again.

Indeed… I want it to be my friend, my meditation and my prayer.

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2018 Lookin’ So Bright It’s Blinding My Eyes

Have a very Merry Christmas and a beautiful New Year!

I wanted to write a lovely, inspiring poem with well-wishes for 2018, but I have officially run out of words for the year.

And songs for that matter.

My muse started her Christmas break before I did!

So I’m just going to give you the summary which is:

I wish you LOVE in all forms!

‘Cause that’s where all good things come from.

And I wish that you take a proper holiday break if you need one as much as I do 😉

See you on the other side ❤

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Girls Just Wanna Slice Vocals

When I feel musically uninspired and like everything I can possibly come up with is just LAME, I start by mixing and matching sounds that other people made, and adding my own flavor to it.

Today I’m jamming with a beat from an Abletunes template, 2 samples from UNDGRND and of course my own vocal with some singing & slicing and a vocal FX rack from AfroDJMac.

What do ya think? Song potential?

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Why Is “The Minimum Viable Product” Not A Thing For Musicians?

I’ve been talking to a lot of different musicians lately and many of them said the exact same thing:

“Yeah, eventually I want to focus on making my own stuff too, but you know, I just never think it’s good enough….”.

I was like “Um yeah, I never think mine is good enough either. In fact, it probably isn’t in many ways, but I’ve started to share it anyway and trust that it will get better the more tracks I finish”.

Blank stares.

In the online producer community I’m part of (Finish More Music) we’re drilled in the mindset of allowing yourself to make a continuous stream of crappy-ass tracks, because that’s the only way you’re ever going to get to the good stuff.

But, in talking to musicians outside of that community I have noticed how NOT common that mindset still is. So many people are so freaking afraid that their music isn’t good enough that they never get past that phase of it actually not being good enough.

There is nothing more freeing than realizing that your music needs to be shit first. And that that’s OK, because it doesn’t mean that YOU are shit or that your POTENTIAL is shit.

I noticed that in talking to these musicians I almost — for a brief moment — got my old mindset back again of thinking it would indeed be better to hide in a cave for 10 more years and also quit my blog and vlog….’Cause what kind of loser do I think am I to be sharing all these crappy demos on the internet?

It’s always good to be triggered by people because it helps you realize what your core values are.

And I realized that for me being authentic, living my truth and sharing my imperfect art is always going to WIN over pretending to be someone or somewhere I’m not.

For me, being real will always be more important than being brilliant.

In fact, if “making it” as an artist would mean I have to put on a persona of perfection — I don’t want to make it.

In the business world, there is this term called “minimum viable product”: a development technique in which a new product or website is developed with sufficient features to satisfy early adopters.


In other words, the product gets made and shared with an audience WAY before it’s brilliant, mindblowing, groundbreaking, or earth-shatteringly epic.

And then, it simply grows from the imperfect, potential-having-mess that it is and gets better over time.

So for today, I am sharing with you my new “sufficient” demo.

Apart from sufficient for my current skill level, it is also poppy and groovy and feelgood and has some smooth warm summery vibes… if you’re into that kind of thing 😉

You can check it out here:

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5 Things I’m Proud Of Myself For In 2017

What did you try, learn or achieve in 2017 that you’re proud of?

I, like most humans, am pretty freakin’ good at seeing all the things I still haven’t mastered or achieved in my life as well as in entertaining a general sense of “I am running behind”.

As if there really is such a thing… but hey.

So, before we run into the new year trying to “catch up” — how about standing still just for one moment and be proud of the things that we did PRETTY DAMN WELL this year?

We all know that self-hate is so 2014, so let’s start celebrating our wins a bit more shall we?

Here is my top 5 of the things I am proud of myself for in 2017.

THING 1: Making a bold choice to quit my job in Singapore and move back to the Netherlands.

THING 2: Moving into a new house in the Netherlands the day my plane arrived, without yet having a new job — yet trusting that I would find a new, more aligned one quickly.

And so I did.

Trusting myself and my own decisions as well as trusting that a net WILL appear when I leap, has been huge for me this year.

(I also did have some savings as an alternative ‘net’, mind you, but for me this was still a huge mental stretch which turned out great).

THING 3: Letting go of relationships and situationships (yes sometimes that’s the best description) that were no longer a fit, without trying to hold on to what mighta/coulda/shoulda been in a parallel universe.

Gracefully letting go of people while genuinely wishing them the very best is what love really is. As well as hugging yourself and practicing self-compassion when you’re in pain and knowing that you’re not a failure for feeling it.

THING 4: Seeking help from others on my musical journey. I have been taking 1 on 1 producing lessons in the past months and have now also connected with an awesome producer who wants to help me take my demos to the next level.

After a few years of isolation and trying to figure out my sound I am now welcoming “help” again with an open mind. That feels a bit scary, but mostly exciting and empowering.

THING 5: Habits, habits, habits! I’ve been intending to create a solid workout habit for years but only in the past 3 months have I finally been able to nail it.

I’ve done 2-3 kettlebell workouts a week for 12 weeks straight now, and I have a screenshot to prove it! (I use an app called Way Of Life to keep track, if you’re interested)

Honestly, I think I still sit on my butt way too much outside of that but it’s a good start.

Speaking of habits…. I’ve also been adding new demos to my Soundcloud (almost) monthly, working on my music daily and publishing a weekly blog/vlog since May.

BOOM! Owning it! 2017 wasn’t so bad after all 🙂

So, what are you most proud of this year?

Don’t forget to claim it, honor it and celebrate the shit out of it before you start to make your plans for the new one!

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