After almost 2 years of living in Singapore, I’m going back to the Netherlands, to pursue some new opportunities that have been knocking on my soul-door for a while now.
As I’m preparing for this big move, that is both exciting and challenging, I find myself with a lot of fun (that’s sarcasm) administrative tasks that come with changing houses, jobs and continents.
In the past weeks I’ve often found myself thinking:
“Yeah, I don’t have any time to make music right now”
“I’ll make music again when things have settled down”
“I just need to get A, B and C sorted first and THEN I will have mental space for music again”
And last week I realized yet again…yeah but, wasn’t music supposed to be my best friend? My partner in crime?
Wasn’t music supposed to be there for me in sickness and in health?
I still often find myself mentally positioning my art away from me, as though it’s some external goal that I need to achieve, and that I can only work on when I’m in an optimal state.
Only when I have at least 2 hours, can I work on my art.
Only when I have a lot of energy, can I work on my art.
Only when I have my sample library (and life) organized perfectly, can I work on my art.
In the past weeks, I’ve realized that that’s not what I want it to be like.