The Messy Grey Areas Of Life And Art

January 21, 2018

What does your voice of resistance sound like?

Ya know, that nagging little voice in your head that tries to convince you NOT to work on your music, your book, your epic business idea or anything else that you secretly most want?

Mine sounded something like this in the past weeks:

“Ugh, I don’t like music anymore. I just really don’t like it anymore. I don’t just dislike my own music. In fact, I don’t like house music in general anymore. So repetitive. Ugh. It just doesn’t inspire me anymore. That’s right, I don’t like any of the songs in my 367-tracks-house-playlist anymore. You know what? Actually, I just don’t like music in general anymore. I just don’t like music, period. That’s probably it. ”

Hmhm that’s right, my voice of resistance convinced me that: “I just don’t like music in general anymore”.

How is that even a thing?

Obviously, it isn’t.

But allowing myself to believe that served a convenient purpose.

Because if “I just don’t like music in general anymore” I don’t have to go back to music making!

And if I don’t have to go back to music making I don’t have to be confronted with the messy grey areas of life and art.

The messy “grey” areas meaning things like:
– my producing skills that are getting better but are not yet great
– my songs that have potential but aren’t arranged as well as they could be
– my voice that has a huge range but that I’m not even remotely using to my full potential because I don’t practice it enough

Oh, all the imperfection! It’s horrendous.

Sometimes the grey areas can be so intensely frustrating that you’d rather not deal with them at all.

Sometimes the grey areas can be so painful that you’d rather tell yourself to walk away from the whole thing and do something “simpler” with your life.

Sometimes, as much as you can see improvement in the long term, the grey areas are still so disappointing that you’d rather just give into resistance for a while.

Sigh.

But if that happens and you realize it, don’t guilt-trip all over yourself for the lost time.

‘Cause some people spend their whole lives this way, running from whatever they secretly most wish to create.

But you don’t.

You have caught yourself yet again.

You bought into it for maybe a few hours, a day, or a couple of weeks… and now?

Now you can get back to work.

Who can relate?

PS: And yes, that means new music is coming soon 🙂

Anja Kicken

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Anja Kicken