What Is Pushing You & What Is Pulling You?

February 11, 2018

When everything you thought you wanted
And all the plans that you made
Don’t seem to make sense anymore
Don’t really resonate in your soul anymore
Don’t fundamentally get you excited anymore

It’s good to ask yourself….

What is pushing me, and what is pulling me?

Sometimes you lose your inspiration for a while for the thing you love doing
I thought that I was just temporarily not feeling it
Or suffering from some hardcore “resistance” as Steven Pressfield calls it

Not wanting to do the real work of becoming a better composer/producer

But it seems that that’s not really been the real issue
It seems to have been a deeper-seated misalignment

So I’ve been asking myself…

Musically, what is pushing me and what is pulling me?

Taking on too much of the arrangement and production process feels like pushing
Or at least, not quite like my zone of genius
Focusing predominantly on house music feels like pushing
Or at least, not quite what fulfils my soul anymore
Making music solely behind my laptop feels like pushing
Or at least, not really allowing me to connect with the essence of why making music makes me happy

So what has been pulling?

I’ve been pulled to focus on just chords on lyrics and melodies
I’ve been pulled to write songs away from the computer
With just a guitar

I’ve been pulled to play guitar in general
To feel the sound of the strings vibrating
To hold it closely to me as the tones fill the room
As the chords and the color of my voice blend into one

I’ve been pulled to make songs
Just simple ones
With just a guitar and my voice

I’ve been pulled to make songs
That can stand on their own
Just like that

And that perhaps don’t need a lot more
And that perhaps, when they’re done, can be remixed into house tracks by other people
But not me

In any case, I’m embracing the not knowing at this point
And just allowing myself to play
And go with what’s pulling me

Sometimes that’s the best thing you can do.
Or maybe always!

So, what is pulling YOU?

PS: Throwback Thursday pic on a Sunday, is that illegal? Well this is pretty much me right now except for being 7 yrs older and not having bangs. Close enough 😉

I’m gonna take some time to explore my new musical direction. Want to know when I have new music to share? Then sign up for my mailing list and I’ll keep you in the loop!

Anja Kicken

About the Author

Anja Kicken